Approach
A relational, nervous-system-informed way of working with parents.
Problems exist in relationships and context, not inside your child. The work looks at the patterns between people, and starts with the adults.
anerkendelse
Danish, noun · recognition
Seeing, hearing and respecting what a child is experiencing inside, even when their behaviour is hard to be around.
Where this comes from
A decade of my practice was in Danish milieu therapy: residential and community settings where the everyday relational environment, not the weekly session, is the treatment. What I carried out of those years is a simple but demanding practice at the heart of Scandinavian pedagogy: anerkendelse, or recognition.
Recognising what's happening for a child doesn't mean accepting whatever they do. It means responding to what is actually going on for them, rather than just managing the behaviour in front of you. And it starts with the parent, because responsibility for the relationship sits with the adult, not the child.
01
Patterns, not problems
Rather than seeing difficulties as belonging to one person, I look at how communication, expectation and interaction within the family shape behaviour.
02
Behaviour makes sense from the inside
I help parents understand what the nervous system is doing in difficult moments, and why behaviour that looks chaotic from the outside makes sense from the inside.
03
Regulation starts with you
A child's nervous system settles in relation to a settled adult. I help parents find that regulation first, so the calm they ask of their child is something they can offer.
Enough warmth to be trusted, enough structure to feel secure.
What it tends to produce
A home that looks a lot like what psychologists call authoritative, or democratic: warm and responsive, with clear expectations still firmly in place.
How we work together is shaped around your family, not a fixed programme. Every family's availability and capacity is different, and I pace the work to what you can sustain.
What I draw on
Systemic practice
The family as a set of relationships, not a collection of individual problems.
Attachment
How early relationships shape a child's sense of safety and connection.
Polyvagal theory
A way of understanding stress, safety and regulation in the nervous system.
Narrative and solution-focused
Noticing what is already working, and building a different story about who your child is.
ACT and compassion-focused work
Supporting the psychological flexibility that makes change last.
Scandinavian pedagogy
Recognition, equal dignity and low-pressure, trust-based ways of being with children.
Start with a free call
Fifteen minutes to talk about what's happening. No charge, no commitment.